Ten Methods Publishers Use To Make My Wallet Cry

We all have our weaknesses when it comes to books, don’t try to hide, I know you’re pulling pennies from the couch cushions trying to buy that new pretty book. So, in lieu of this week’s top ten Tuesday, here is a list of ten things publishers will do to make me crazy for their book.

Hardcovers Where The Book Cover Is In A Colour I Do Not Yet Own, Or DSC_0628.jpgOwn Enough Of

As a bookstagrammer, I live for the #bookrainbow and #bookombre tags. On a sad day, I could just scroll through the tags and their utmost aestheticises make my frown go upside down. I just want to create these myself, unfortunately, amazon doesn’t list what colours they are under their jackets, ARE YOU GETTING THIS DOWN AMAZON?

Oh, another Marissa Meyer novel?

Already purchased. What is it about? I don’t need to know, I already know its gonna be amazing! Why waste time reading the blurb when I could be buying it? Marissa Meyer, the author of The Lunar Chronicles and Heartless, is my bae, and she sits with all of the other auto-buy authors with Ally Carter, Tommy Wallach and more.

If It Is Remotely Similar To A Series I Love

Girl needs to find herself by leaving her best friend (Since You’ve Been Gone/Fangirl) or a Hacker in Space (Cress/Illumnae)? I will read any book if it has any similarities to a book I already love, I don’t care about the repetition, I JUST NEED MORE TO LOVE! E.g. Trust Me, I’m Lying is advertised as ‘for fans of Ally Carter’ and do you know who ran through mud to get an ARC? I, and it was aammmmaaaaazing.

When Reviewed As ‘It Gave Me All The Feels’ or ‘Where Did The Kleenex Go?’

DSC_1586 (2)I am an ultimate sucker for books labelled as “that’ll make you cry”, a good book cry is all I need to send it back with five golden stars.  If I can get connected to a book enough that when something drastic happens that the pages get wet, or that days later I break down in the art room because the song playing just reminds me too much of *insert sad event from book here*, then there will be a hardcover copy on my shelf no doubt.

Diversity

I couldn’t think of a better title for this section because it just is on its own. Diversity, you tell me there are raging LGBT+ characters or a fun POC character or its set anywhere other than ‘Murica, I will look into it, and by that I mean add it to my amazon wishlist and email that list to every earning member of my family with the subject title as ‘PLEASE’.

Tell Me It’s Hilarious, But Not Cliche

I may really love a good cry, but a good laugh is even better. Ah, all the inside jokes I have with characters even though it’s just in the book and the character dgaf about my existence but we’ll call them inside jokes none the less because they’re so special. I won’t fall for the Knock-Knock humour, I want to know a character so well, that the jokes with them are phenomenal. I will settle for none less.

Is That A Piece Of Artwork or A Book?screenshot_3

I like love art, and even more so on books. Have you seen Everything, Everything? Or Mosquitoland? A Thousand Pieces Of you? The Unexpected Everything? THEY’RE SO UTTERLY GORGEOUS AND ALREADY ON MY SHELVES! I’ve only read half of those but I already love all of them, why? Pretty covers.

Any Con or Spy Thriller

What even is the long word for con? Is there one? Whatever. However, I will be pulled into a book by any crew of convicts (Six Of Crows), con artist teenagers (Trust Me, I’m Lying), or any espionage thriller. It’s my peek into the career I always wanted to have, edgy.

Relateable Experiences

Hold up, child to immigrants? European? photography? anything-else-i-share-with-the-MC? I may not be like them in anyways, but that tidbit will make me call them my book twin and I will read and support them as if they were me. I saw my name ONCE in a book, After The Woods, and I was some old lady. Heck yeah she rocked and I odont remeber anything else about her but YEAH HI FELLOW DOROTEA WERE TWINS NOW.

captureComing-Of-Age Standalones

Never too much commitment, almost always a happy ending. Characters are short lived and you want more. Coming-Of-Age standalones are always so bittersweet and fun to read. Coming-Of-Age books are always good stories to tell to me, but the standalones make them genius. On that note, I’ll leave you with a quote this reminds me of.

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

Comment Below Your Top Ten Tuesday Posts!

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About FishThatReads

Swimming Through Pages

4 Responses

  1. whatiwanttoknow

    I really like this post; it made me laugh. I can so relate, especially with book twins. If I ever see the same name as me in my book I no longer care if they’re the villain or not, I will root for them until the end.

    Liked by 1 person

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